How are you?

Hi Nat. I cant get in our private blog to post, i dunno why. So i onli can post here, since nobody comes to my blog also. I dunno long later will you see this.
Its May 2012 already. And to be honest, i haven't let go. I thought i have somehow move on.
But i just cant. Whatever things that i do, i will just think about you. i wonder if you do the same as me, now that you have another.
I have been following your thumblr and facebook and i think you do know that as i can feel it.
You posted something like " i wonder if anyone thinks of me when they cant fall asleep at night." i feel like replying but i didn't.
i respect your decision. But i can still say that I love you. Nevermind all the changes that i should do or to effort to save our relationship. Its pointless.
I realise what i want is not all that- to change or to get back. But rather what i want is you to be happy.
I love you so i don't mind that you are with him as long as you are doing well. I love you as i can't sleep and think of you every night. I love you as Im cautious with whatever i do, so that i won't hurt you. I love you so that I don't mind suffer in silence. I love you cos i know you love me too.
Soon it will be your birthday and i really wish you can enjoy yourself and not be so emotionally affected by Mothers' Day. How i wish i can be there for you. But i believe he did a better job than me?
I wish you the best in everything you do. Waiting for the day i can see you and talk to you again.

Love you... Forever...
Jian Sheng