Hey Nat, i have just seen your thumblr post on the 17th and 14th of Aug. To be frank, initailly, i thought you are having problems in your current relationship and that i thought you have broke up with him. To say the truth, my first feeling i felt is sadness. I feel sad that you have broke up with him cos i think you 2 are rather compatible.
I do feel a little happy cos i thought maybe maybe you will see a little importance of me and appreciate my effort. I told quite a few ppl that i always share my feelings towards you to. And they ask me then wats next tat i will do. And i just replied them i will only let things come naturally now.
At like 2plus am, i went to see the post again to infer, and the more i feel amiss about it. Cos i gave Benjamin your house telephone number and he said he will be calling you on the 14th night. Then i realised the post u are writing about refers to me. I never realise that initially cos im like thinking when will you think about me again since you are in a sweet relationship now. Prob you do, but what are the chances?
After realising that your post refers to me, i feel sad. Sad that you write as though i have not put in enough effort in our relationship. "Ya, he loved me, but to what extent?" quoted. That hurts. I put in effort in our relationship and i thought that you really appreciate it. There isnt a praise in your post at all or maybe like saying u miss me or anything but rather all those hurting statements again. I know that it isnt your fault. It is neither of our fault and you should just not care about what ppl think.
I understand your intention in breaking up and i respect that. But i still dare to say that i miss you a lot. But do you miss a single bit? Homecoming cchy is next month, i know that you are attending. So im really having mixed feelings now. i feel like seeing you but scared that i do not have the courage to be normal with you again or be avoided by you again. I really do not have the courage anymore. Nevertheless, i still wish you all the best in your current relationship. Last long.
Smiles,
Jian Sheng.
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Monday, August 13, 2012
Nat, when is the last time you think about me? Im really curious. Had a talk with my sister yesterday and she said that i thought i let go already. But she really think that i had not. Prob so, since i realised that i think about you at least once every 3 days?
Just now, Benjamin called me telling me about your present stuff. And when he started saying "Guan Hoe keep telling me that natalie and her boyfriend always... " Then i just stopped him cos i really do not have the courage to listen to the truth. It hurts. It really still hurts. I guess i had not let go yet.
I miss you...
Jian Sheng.
Just now, Benjamin called me telling me about your present stuff. And when he started saying "Guan Hoe keep telling me that natalie and her boyfriend always... " Then i just stopped him cos i really do not have the courage to listen to the truth. It hurts. It really still hurts. I guess i had not let go yet.
I miss you...
Jian Sheng.
Friday, August 10, 2012
August 2012 (:
Hey Nat! Yesterday was national day.
1 year went passed tat fast. I can still remember last year national day when you came to my house and we baked cookies. Remember? At that time you were worried if your dad might call back and check on you so in the end you went home early but we really enjoyed tat day (:
I have been thinking whether you can feel my effort put in our relationship when im in jc years and you in secondary school. During those years, though dismiss at 5pm almost everyday, i still make it a point to balance my time with you and my work. I wish you can feel the effort that i put in. Or maybe you will feel that your current one put in more effort since he meet you like almost everyday and you all dun really need to balance bet love and friendship since you all have common friends that often go out tgt.
Im not trying to compare. But i just want to feel worthy as your ex, i just want to be someone being able to be there for you when you need me, purely as a friend. But you are still avoiding me, i guess.
Btw, i heard that you have become quite "bitchy", maybe is from your school culture, tats what i heard. But i believe in you and really do not wish that its really the case, cos i know you well and know that you aren't such a person.
Once again, wishing you that you can do well in your studies, take care of your health and last long with your boyfriend!
Smiles!
Jian Sheng (:
1 year went passed tat fast. I can still remember last year national day when you came to my house and we baked cookies. Remember? At that time you were worried if your dad might call back and check on you so in the end you went home early but we really enjoyed tat day (:
I have been thinking whether you can feel my effort put in our relationship when im in jc years and you in secondary school. During those years, though dismiss at 5pm almost everyday, i still make it a point to balance my time with you and my work. I wish you can feel the effort that i put in. Or maybe you will feel that your current one put in more effort since he meet you like almost everyday and you all dun really need to balance bet love and friendship since you all have common friends that often go out tgt.
Im not trying to compare. But i just want to feel worthy as your ex, i just want to be someone being able to be there for you when you need me, purely as a friend. But you are still avoiding me, i guess.
Btw, i heard that you have become quite "bitchy", maybe is from your school culture, tats what i heard. But i believe in you and really do not wish that its really the case, cos i know you well and know that you aren't such a person.
Once again, wishing you that you can do well in your studies, take care of your health and last long with your boyfriend!
Smiles!
Jian Sheng (:
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